Friday, March 8, 2013

When Sandeep meets God...

zzzzzz zzzzzzz.................huggggh ................zzz......zzzzz.........huggggh
Sandeep was in deep sleep.Somebody woke him up.
Sandeep: Bludy hell.Who the hell are you?Why the hell you woke me up you %^*&*&?
Somebody: I am God.
Sandeep: Are you kidding?(rubbing his eyes). Dude...........jokes apart.Tell me who are you? And why are you here and what you want?
God : I am God . I am happy with you . I want to give you whatever you want. Tell me what you want.( Our somebody is actually GOD)
Sandeep : Again ............??
God : OK. If you don't believe, that's fine. But just for my shake think that I am GOD.
Sandeep : Ooookayyyyyyy.........as   you insist, let it be.
God: Tell me what you want?
(Sandeep thinking)
After a long time, Sandeep takes a long breath and says....
Sandeep : Money.
God: Why ?
Sandeep : In today's world money is everything.
God :(After a deep breath) Tell me how much you want.
Sandeep : Let me think.
(Sandeep thinking.........)
If I have money , what all should I do?
First of all I should have a house. In Banglore I need atleast 70 lakhs to get a decent flat.
(Sandeep's soul comes in front of him)
Sandeep's soul : Kaminey.........paise velle mil rahe h. Kuch bada soch  begger  k aulad .Don't you want to have a villa with a  big swimming pool and a lovely garden?
(Sandeep thinks again)
Sandeep : Tu sahi bol raha h yar. Hamara khandan me aajtak kisika khud ka swimming pool nai h. 
God : Whome are you talking to?
Sandeep : Nothing.
(Sandeep thinks again)
To have a villa I should have atleast 5 crores .Then I want to have a car.  I like Scorpio. It was my dream.
(Sandeep looks at his soul and says )
Sandeep : Mercedes...........no no...Audi looks good.No Ferrari.
Sandeep's soul : Abe do char rakhle.
Sandeep : Hmm.....
God : Dude whome are you talking with ?
Sandeep : Arghhhhh......  noone.
(God in confusion)
God : OK. I am going to wash room.By the time I come back complete your calculation and tell me how much you want.
Sandeep : Dude how do you know that I am calculating?
God : Beta, God hun me God........
(God leaves the place. Sandeep starts thinking again.
If I will have a Mercedes, Audi...........I will have all the new models. It will cost me another 3 crore.Total 8 crore. I want to have some investments as well. Let me start a venture. That will cost me atleat 10 crores. That will serve me as my future income. The total counts to 18 crores now. I should have lands here and there which add to my property.Where? Banglore  hmmm.........  Bhubaneswar (Sandeep's home town), hmm.... Delhi 
Sandeep : (Looking at his soul)Capital hena.
Sandeep : Gangtok .(Again looking at his soul)I like it man.Atleast I need 20 crores for that.So total is 38 crores. As I am happy, I should make others also happy. 
Sandeep : What do you say?(Looking at his soul)
Sandeep's soul : OK. As you wish.
Sandeep : I will give some money to my brothers . 5 crores each. That will be 10 crores. So....... total is 38 plus 10 that is 48. I should give to my best friends as well. They were always helping me. Let me give 2 crores each.That will be 4. So total is .............52.  I should have 50 crores in bank.So that I can go for foreign trips with the interest itself. It will also be my safety deposit. So the total comes to 102. let's make it a round figure .So 100 crores.
"Wake up.... wake up......... It's 8 already. Won't you go to office?"
It's Sandeep's mother.
Sandeep fells down from his bed.
Sandeep : (Rubbing his eyes and looking around) Oh God....... it was a dream. 
(He smiles and thinks looking at the fan over him)
How greedy I am. And the worst part is, the world is so costly that I need 100 crores to have a good life.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Human Brain Analysis - Man vs. Woman




1. MULTI-TASKING
Women - Multiple process
Womens brains designed to concentrate multiple task at a time.
Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook.
Men - Single Process
Mens brains designed to concentrate only one work at a time. Men can not watch TV and talk over the phone at the same time. they stop the TV while Talking. They can either watch TV or talk over the phone or cook.

2. LANGUAGE
Women can easily learn many languages. But can not find solutions to problems. Men can not easily learn languages, they can easily solve problems. That's why in average a 3 years old girl has three times higher vocabulary than a 3 yeard old boy.

3. ANALYTICAL SKILLS
Mens brains has a lot of space for handling the analytical process. They can analyze and find the solution for a process and design a map of a building easily. But If a complex map is viewed by women, they can not understand it. Women can not understand the details of a map easily, For them it is just a dump of lines on a paper.

4. CAR DRIVING.
While driving a car, mans analytical spaces are used in his brain. He can drive a car fastly. If he sees an object at long distance, immediately his brain classifies the object (bus or van or car) direction and speed of the object and he drives accordingly. Where woman take a long time to recognize the object direction/ speed. Mans single process mind stops the audio in the car (if any), then concentrates only on driving.

5. LYING
When men lie to women face to face, they get caught easily. Womans super natural brain observes facial expression 70%, body language 20% and words coming from the mouth 10%. Mens brain does not have this. Women easily lie to men face to face.
So guys, do not lie face to face.

6. PROBLEMS SOLVING
If a man have a lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies the problems and puts them in individual rooms in the brain and then finds the solution one by one. You can see many guys looking at the sky for a long time. If a woman has a lot of problems, her brain can not classify the problems. she wants some one to hear that. After telling everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry about the problems being solved or not.

7. WHAT THEY WANT
Men want status, success, solutions, big process, etc... But Women want relationship, friends, family, etc...

8. UNHAPPINESS
If women are unhappy with their relations, they can not concentrate on their work. If men are unhappy with their work, they can not concentrate on the relations.

9. SPEECH
Women use indirect language in speech. But Men use direct language.


10. HANDLING EMOTION
Women talk a lot without thinking. Men act a lot without thinking.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

You and Me

Remembering always
The days with you.
A joyful life
Which I am missing.
Your smily face
That attracted my eyes.
Your sweet voice
That I like to listen more and more.
You call me chimp
I call you donk.
It's a pleasant time
Which went away.
Your hand in mine
Your step behind mine.
May not be in your heart
But you are always in my heart.


Dedicated to my sweet heart :) :P :P

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

A journey to be remembered

Why all the girls named Prinyaka are so beautiful???

Don't be surprised. I have seen many priyankas like Priyanka Chopra, Priyanka Panda, Priyanka Vazzhala and many more. All are beautiful. By the way I am talking about the flight attendant in Jet Konnect flight which I boarded recently. I was boarding into the flight and a pretty lady wished me. I couldn't stop myself and my eyes looked at her chest to have  a glance of her name. That's it, from that time onwards only one question striking in my head which i asked you.

All the passengers boarded in the flight and the flight took off. It was around 8:00 PM and the city was in her glittering night dress.I was above Vizag, the so called "City of Destiny" . I don't know why the name came to it but the city was looking completely fabulous with the evening lights. The flight was raising and the land was inclined with yellowish street lights. It was a feast to the eyes.Gradually the lights became stars and  all of a sudden it was dark. Oh guys don't think i am writing a fiction or some ghost story. It's the bay of Bengal.Now, I had nothing to watch out. I turned around and to my surprise, a beautiful girl was sitting next to me. She was wearing a denim jeans with a black top. She had some black accessories around her wrist. She was like so called " Bapu gisina bomma"(It's a saying in Telugu"). I felt like Bramha made her in his leisure with lot of patience and passion. The girl had a long nose with lovely lips. She was very pretty that I couldn't get my eyes off from her. I some how started talking to her. She hesitated for a while to talk. Then I opened my bag  and took mentos toffee from it. I ate the toffee." Mera dimag ka batti jal gaya."Then I took a Dairy Milk chocolate from my bag and gave it to her.("Shubh Aarambh se pehle kuch meetha ho jaye").She loved it. Then she started talking to me. We forgot everybody and lost within us. I couldn't  realize that I spent an hour with her. Our journey came to an end. We collected our baggage and the time to say good bye is here. So what happened next??

Her mother said her " Say bye to uncle ". Surprised??? She is 4 years old and her name is Tanya. :) :)

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

As an Indian....

Hello guys........ How are you all?
I hope all of you are doing good.Let's discuss about something hot....

Hmmm hmmm.... ok  I hope all of you know about Anna's protest. This is second time he is on road against the government. As you know he is protesting against the corruption and wants to have an act against it and get the black money back to India.It spread around the country in just few days. It's not Gandhi's time when to pass the message you have to go physically. But now the the message is passing in minutes.We have enough mediums like Internet,Facebook,Twitter,Mobile,News channels etc to spread the words.OK so we all know about it. So how many of us really think that it will work? How many of us are participating in the movement?How many of the participants really know that they can achieve it through the medium they choose? I am asking all of you. Most of you are educated and read or listen news. Is the government really giving it's ear to listen us.? Can we make a difference? I will say no.I know most of you won't agree with me.Even you may say that I am a selfish or I am not doing anything for the country etc etc. Again I am asking the question that "How many of you really thinking that whatever you are doing will make a difference?"I saw many people are doing human chains on road to show everybody. But we are not in early 19th when reaching message itself is difficult. But we are in the fast age where message passing is not a big deal. But in my view what's happening is just message passing. In won't work. We have to do in action.Our system is corrupted now. So it won't take anything. Let me give an example. If your system is corrupted, then whatever instructions you may give whether it is good or bad it won't work or will do some unexpected stuff. To fix it you have to repair your computer rather than giving some good instructions. Our government also in same condition. It won't take anything in, which is good . We have to fix the government i.e we have to change the government. We have to build a government which is completely new and have some passion to work for the country's growth(not for own growth). So if you really want to change it, be a part of it and change it. Bring our country back to us from the corrupted politician community. We should have leader to lead the country, not a politician. Stage show, human chain or messages, likes on facebook doesn't work. Our government and people are beyond the reach of all of this. If you really want to do something good, be a part of the system and change it.

If my thought really touched you please act immediately. Our country is in our hands.Some bludy politician can't decide the fate of our country. Good luck guys.

Jai Hind......

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Are you really Modernized?


From a long time something is hitting in my mind. I wanted to pen it down, but I couldn’t do it. As I was busy with my life, my “so called busy corporate life”. No time to think back no time for friends and family. But  It didn’t let me sleep . So I had to write it at midnight, when the whole world is asleep. Never mind my Facebook friends, Anyway you guys are not in this world. Let’s come to the topic.
We are in a democratic country where you have freedom to do anything. Actually speaking nobody cares what you do. We got independence 65 years back. I wanna compare few things from the pages of history to the present day.
 If you walk on one of the busy road in a city, earlier people used to see few cycles. Whereas now, you can see streetful of cars and other vehicles which run on oil. Earlier people used to wear dhotis. Now all dhotis are replaced by jeans. Women were not allowed to go out alone. Now,  you can find women in pubs half naked. We moved from bullock carts to cozy cars. Moved from dhotis to jeans. Moved from desi daru to western liquor. Once upon a time letter was the only medium of message but now everyone has a mobile in his/her hand.
 Our government says that we are a developing country and we are modernized. Do we really modernized? I say we are actually westernized rather than modernized. Modernization is thinking in modern ways, using modern gadgets . It’s not changing into western culture. Wearing jeans doesn’t mean that you are  modernized when you can’t think in modern way. Jeans doesn’t suit our climate. Do our saree or salwar kameez that bad to wear? Our girls wear skin tight jeans and dress themselves half naked and say that they are modern. Fools….. you are not modern and you are trapped in western culture. Our culture is  thousands of years old where youngers give respect to elders, women are given respect and treated as God. Our culture is no more. Do you think drinking foreign liquor and using bad words on others is modernization?Do you think late night pub culture or walking on a road half naked  is modernization?
Our culture is respected abroad and what we did with our culture? We made it lame like us. Try to distinguish between being modern and western. Being a modern person will give you strength. Being western is nothing but fooling yourself. Adopt modernization, not westernization. I hope, you all can understand my appeal.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Guys try the new social network

zurker.in

http://www.zurker.in/i-49073-medhfeptpj